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Excerpt from The Next One Fries

Here's an excerpt from The Next One Fries. It describes the moment her family realises that one of the kidnap victims has disappeared:

The second kidnapping had cut things rather finer than the first. The bride and her family were waiting for the car to arrive, and everyone but the young lady herself had rushed to the door when the Avon chimes released their honeyed muzak into the innards of the house. Confounded by the absence of either limousine or driver at the front of the house, nobody heard the muffled sounds of a struggle at the back door.

Their first thought was that it was a joke. Then Mrs Manning realised it was an elopement. Her mind jumped from Golders Green to Gretna Green faster than you could spell ‘assumption’ and for a few moments there were tears of joy from the mother, re-transported to the romanticism of her youth, which had never quite managed the translation to reality.

‘Better get the in-laws over for a drink, then, and see if we can get a refund from the vicar,’ had been her practical husband’s response to the announcement of his wife’s conclusion, and he dialled the number of the bridegroom’s parents – conveniently posted on the fridge door.

‘Joe?’

‘No, it’s Daniel. Is that you Mr Manning – Gus? Is something wrong?’

 

‘Daniel …? Why are you there?’

‘We haven’t left yet.’

‘Oh. The two of you?’

‘Well, none of us. We’re all going in one car.’ Pause.

 

‘All of you?'

 

’Yes.’

 

'To Scotland?’

‘To Scotland?’

 

‘Jane thinks it’s very romantic.’

'Scotland?’

 

‘Well, not Scotland generally – it’s just wet. But elopement to Scotland.’

 

Silence.

 

'And, of course, anyone can get married there. They don’t publish the bans, or ask questions.’

 

‘Questions?’

 

‘Though it seems a shame – having found a local church that was happy to overlook your … your not being …’ He faltered for a moment. ‘Wendy’s mother will be disappointed, naturally. Not that she isn’t thrilled at the idea, mind you.’

And then the conversation stalled, the younger man never having understood where it was going, and the older man having lost the thread. ‘

 

Gus,’ Daniel Silver tentatively ventured, ‘can you just pop Wendy on for a moment?’ ‘

 

Wendy?’

 

‘Can I have a quick word?’ 

 

‘With Wendy? Isn’t she with you?’ 

'With me?’ ‘

 

Aren’t you about to leave for Scotland?’ 

 

‘Scotland?’

‘You said you were going to Scotland.’ 

 

‘No, I didn’t.’ 

 

‘To elope’. And so the misunderstanding was gradually revealed; and then transmitted by a red-faced and rather cross Angus Manning to his wife. Mrs Manning’s romantic notion was dispelled, as was her unexpressed disappointment at not having had the chance to be present at her daughter’s wedding. Without it ever having fully formed itself, she was relieved of the half-feeling of shame at the thought (which sprang from a misconstrued over-hearing of her husband’s side of the conversation with young Daniel Silver) that her future in-laws had been invited to go along for the trip but she hadn’t.     

 

Then, tumbling after these feelings, came sudden concern. Where was the girl? Surely the car would be here any minute and if she didn’t stop this nonsense they’d all be later than was acceptable, even for a bride.     

 

Ten minutes later, after they’d noticed the gate leading to the park behind the house swinging open and found one of Gwendolin’s shoes in the overgrown buddleia beside it, concern turned to panic. Mr Manning called the police.

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